art by Cher Jiang Yale Station: Letters of Love |
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| My Dearest, It is an awful thing and hurts me terribly. A little bit of that hurt is because you let it occur to you for even a moment that I might be disappointed. Perhaps I might be a little if you had failed. But you haven't . Failure comes only when you tackle something, pitting against it your full capability, concentration ,energy and time, and then it defeats you. This is certainly not the case with those ___?___ subjects. Today shall be my day of prayer to my God that you are granted a leave of absence. In the interim period you could get a job and save some money for that as in your revisiting , it should be possible to give those darn subjects the time they require. In this I can help you very much. It could be worked out beautifully between the two of us. ( We'll discuss it tomorrow.) If you are not granted the leave - well it's not the end of the world. I would so like you to finish not for myself but for you, because I know how you hate leaving a thing undone. I want with all my heart to help preserve your pride in achievement. Don't forget I know you, I love you. You could never be anything less than you are to me. It's the basic George I love so much - of course all the trimmings are nice and like many little bits of magic- but if one must be dispensed with it , could have no bearing on how I feel. Also this is our first problem really. Everything has been so wonderfully and miraculously smooth. This is the first thing that brings a muted momentary sadness. But it's something we can share. We never said that we wanted a life to be a pathway strewn with roses, did we? I want you to have this letter today. I'll be thinking of you every moment today. Do not be hurt if the decision is not favorable. You've put all of yourself into it, and gotten a great deal which will be of use. I'm thinking of you. Loving you very dearly, my darling - Your Emily |